Recertification

During our social worker visit this week, I was reminded that our recertification is due. That basically means we have hours of training that are due as well as some updated info and forms to submit. It means we need a new home eval. ::enter panic attack here::

After the initial panic of having to reprep the house for someone to come look through, I realized that a recertification being due means that we have been certified for a year now. We have been licensed for a year! It seems so recent that our little man was placed with us.

It got me thinking back to the 6 days we waited for a phone call. It is so odd to wait for someone to call you and tell you that you have a child. So scary to know what may come your way. What trauma your future child may have endured.

I remember the thoughts that ran through my head when we were officially certified. Were we ready for this? Were we really prepared for what God called us to?

Looking back on my fears, my excitement and all other emotions that ran wild I thought about the question "Is this what we expected it to be?"

My answer is not a clear cut yes or no. In so many ways I look at what we were taught and think that we were prepared for the worse and came out with the best case scenario. In other areas, I see that I could never have prepared myself for where we are.

There are days I forget I am a foster mom. There are others when the blatant reminders crush me. There are times that I think we are ready to quit (without returning little man of course lol) and there are days that I just know we will do this forever.

But is it what I expected when we signed the first form? I don't know. I don't know what we really expected to begin with. We came into this with faith and a calling. That's basically where we still stand. Answering God's call and waiting for Him to point us where He wants us to go.

Will we continue fostering after Little Man? Only God knows. We were called to adopt a child through foster care. We are hoping that child is Little Man. If it is not, we will move forward. If it is, I don't know where we will go. We may foster more. We may just advocate for foster children. It is scary being so unsure. It's scary not knowing where our family will go from here. There is comfort in Christ though. Comfort in knowing that God has it all figured out.

For now, we pray. We take is one recertification at a time. We strive to be a voice for the child who does not have one. And we run to get our house together in time for our social worker. Ahhhhh!!!!!

Come back tomorrow for a recap of our first year.