Coffee Date

If we sat down for coffee today, I would start with a deep breath. It has been a long week. Not a bad week. Funny how when we say long week people usually associate it with bad. The week was not bad at all. Just lots to do. Full of appointments.

Since majority of the week revolved around little man, I wouldn't be able to share much. For confidentiality reasons. I would tell you though that my heart is heavy.

Twenty-five Pounds to a Better Me

I'm not overweight. Nor do I have any health issues. So how can I say that losing 25 pounds result in a better me?

When Steven and I got married, I felt healthier. I was more confident and much more secure.

After our first miscarriage I went into a major depression and gained about 15 pounds. It didn't bother me much.

Then I had kids. I only gained 15 pounds while pregnant with Rhi. After having her, there were only 7 pounds to lose. I got rid of 5 of them. The last two lingered. All the way into my pregnancy with Talon.

With Talon I gained 17 pounds and then lost all but 5. Leaving me at a grand total of 22 pounds gained since our wedding day.

These last 7 pounds feel like 50 in comparison to the initial 15. Having kids really changes your body.

I don't feel like myself. I have grown to hate the mirror. I struggle daily with what to wear. I will not go to pool or beach events. I'm just not happy with myself. And it is time to do something about it.

You see, by a better me, I don't need a skinnier me. I want a healthier, more energetic, happier me.

So I am beginning a journey. I am not setting a time frame just a number goal. 25 pounds to start, 35 at most if I am not happy when I reach 25.

Here's where you come in. I don't think I can do it alone. I want to but I struggle to stay focused.

I will be using myfitnesspal.com and airing my dirty laundry. My 3 sizes larger than I'd like dirty laundry. I will be sharing there how much I lose or gain. I will even tell you what I eat each day. The only thing I won't be sharing is my actual weight. I'm not that brave.

I will come back here each week, Sometimes more sometimes less, and share how much I lost that week.

I'll be giving tips, sharing recipes and letting you know what is/isn't working for me.

I want you to hold me accountable. You can join in and let me know how your doing, maybe we'll even do some guest posts. If you don't want or need to join in, I'd love for you to still follow along. See the journey and hold me accountable.

What do you think?

Love on

This week has been a tough one. Emotionally I mean.

Being a foster mom is a challenging road. I knew it would be. I know what I signed up for and with it comes challenges and heartache. Knowing that heartache is possible evident, does not make it any easier.

Nothing bad has happened. It's not that at all. It is the attachment. I love this child like my own. But he is not my own. He has parents. He has parents that I hope to help reunify with him. Even though that is our ultimate goal, reunification, it terrifies me.

Yesterday, Rhiannon was asking questions. Asking if she could see little mans house. Asking if she could meet his other mommy. Asking where his other mommy was. It was so hard to put on a strong face. The questions were just a reminder.

I was praying about this all. Praying that God would help me to not attach so much. I want to be there and to love him with all I have. To show him a home filled with the love of Christ. I want to attach with him and not show him an ounce of hurt while he is here. Even if that means I am heartbroken when he leaves. I am doing this for him and for his parents. If I get hurt along the way, that is okay because I helped them through their trial.

While praying for myself and my fear of being too attached, it quickly turned to thanksgiving. That I am able to be a part of little mans life, even if it is just for now. That I get to help a family. That I can help to put the pieces back together if that is what is in God's plan.

This road is full of ups and downs. Instead of praying for protection of my own heart. I want to continue to praise him for what he is doing in Little Mans life. If I get hurt along the way, God will fill that gap with the joy of knowing that we showed a family the love of our Savior.

Pray for us that we will continue to keep our eyes on the right things. That we remember why we are doing this.

Thanks so much for following along on our journey in foster care. We appreciate everyone of you and all of the prayers that are shining so brightly through this child.

Public Service Announcment

{source}

Hey you...mom with the 3 seater Target shopping cart. Yes. I'm talking to you. The mom with only one child. I'm confused as to why a shopping cart with so many seats is in order...

While we are on the topic, mom with a 12 year old and 10 year old. Do you remember when those kids were 1 and 3? Don't ya think they would have needed that cart a lot more then than they do now? If your answer is yes, leave it for those of us struggling to find a way to gather our kiddos.

Getting Ready in Less than 5 Minutes

*This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Revlon for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

I am a mom on the go. There is no doubt about that. I have little time to get ready in the morning and no time during the day to freshen up. I have said it numerous times that being a mommy isn't always glamorous.

That being said, being a mom doesn't mean you have to look frumpy all day every day. What it does mean is that you need to refine your routines. Five minutes in the morning can go a long way. And if you are using the right products, that five minute effort can last all day. Leaving the touch ups to someone who has more time.

So how do we use these 5 minutes? I have found that with a little foundation and some pretty eye shadows, you can transform your look of "I haven't slept in days" to "What do you mean moms have no time to themselves". It is trickery really, letting people think we spent lots of time on ourselves.

Handing it over

Ever have one of those days where it seems like anything bad that can happen does happen? A day where all of those around you are hurting and you are completely helpless?

That's where I am today. So many relatives in pain. Filled with sickness. Fear surrounding. And here I am helpless.

Why is it that when days like this present themselves we always try to figure out what WE can do. I claim a faith in a tremendous God, yet when something tremendous happens I first try to figure out what I can do. How easy it is to forget how small we are and how huge our God is.

Empty Shelves

Today I received an e-mail that went a little something like this ...

"Umm hey, I know you just got a foster baby and all but some of us have addictions to certain products and well the shop is lookin' a little bare."

The e-mail came from a friend and she was totally joking. For the most part. Ha.

Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood

"My turn to pick" 

 "No, my turn to pick"

 "MOMMMMYYY!!!!"

This conversation goes down a lot at our house. My kiddos love tv. They are only allowed an hour or so of television a day. Most days. So when it comes to who chooses the shows, they take it serious. One is two, one is four. One a girl, one a boy. So as you can imagine, their tastes in t.v. are a bit different.


This mom needed some relief. A break from the remote control battles. So you can imagine my excitement when they found a show they both love. You can not even begin to imagine how much more excited I was when I found that the show taught great character traits and had education benefits. Insert big happy mommy face her. Woo Hoo!!!!!!