Influential Women: Living to Glorify

There are people we come in contact with that make us want to be a better person. They plant seeds in us, they influence us and they simply model a life we want to live. From a very young age, my aunt Lynette/my momma's best friend, has been that to me. Although her life wasn't always easy, she showed me the joy that Jesus brings. Through trials and tribulations, I watched my aunt rejoice. In good times, I saw her praise Him. It is a life we should all seek to live, one serving and honoring Jesus. There was always something in my auntie that I wanted. I now know the joy, that is Jesus Christ in me. I only hope that my life models Christ half as much as she has modeled Him to me.

I am so excited to share her with you today!

The saying, “With age comes wisdom” may be partially true. I do know that staying the course through the years with Christ most definitely brings spiritual maturity which invites wisdom. I’ve learned that walking closely with Him, tucking into Him, allowing Him full and abandoned access causes Him to live lavishly in us so that He can be glorified.

When asked to write about my relationship with Jesus I thought to myself,
“Well, that’s pretty easy because of Him.” As difficult as I have made it during some seasons of life, He is always full of wisdom and brings me back to one simple truth, Himself.

Try as I might I cannot seem to dissolve this union with Him. Oh I don’t mean I’m out whoopin’ it up trying to saturate myself with sin or run from His presence. I mean that no matter where I have roamed, whatever geographical, emotional, or spiritual “place” I have put myself, Jesus is ever faithful to direct or if need be, re~direct my path. He never leaves me to myself, but always gives freely what I need.


What is really perplexing is that He ever came to live in me at all. I mean really, who wants the wretched, dreary things of the world? Who wants those that make a habit out of messing up time and time again? Jesus does! He’s taught me that through Him I don’t have to live in habitual sin. In fact, we don’t have to live in sin at all. It really is true that He saves to the uttermost and that He uses the simple things, of THAT I am living proof.

What I suppose I’ve come to understand is simply this:

We make a choice to believe while allowing Him to lead the way. Once I made the choice to believe I was really moved to open my Bible and began not to just read it but to study it. Through prayer, the Spirit, mentors He placed in my life, and actively reading my Bible I grew and never stopped. I’m still growing. As I seek Him out I continually find an ever merciful Lord who desires to magnify Himself through each of us who will believe.

He has proven to me that He is good all of the time. When seasons are rough, rocky, and questionable at best, He stays the course faithful and unwavering. He has stood the test of time and it’s easier to just trust Him in all things today. Therefore, no matter the season, whatever the storm, or however sunny the outlook I choose to serve Him with the life He has given me by leading Bible studies for women, visiting orphans and widows and simply obeying Him. Jesus is easy to serve and worthy to be trusted.
- Lynette Warren

Isn't she just awesome? Can you believe this woman does not have a blog of her own...yet. I am working on her and will pass on links when I get her started :)

Influential Women: Fellowship

When recently asked what the most important/influential piece in my walk had been, the answer came easily. Fellowship and uplifting individuals. Don't get me wrong, without prayer and all the fundamentals, I would be lost, literally. However, when it came to establishing my faith, I could not have got where I am without time with friends in fellowship. When I first came to know God, I fell away time and time again. What made it stick this time? I believe it had a lot to do with people around me lifting me, praying WITH me and keeping me accountable. From the beginning of my steadfast walk with the Lord, I have been lifted up by someone y'all might already know, if you don't, get to know her :)


Hi Yo!
Nicole from OliveBlue, here!
Kristen asked me to stop by and leave a few words on fellowship. I jumped at the chance to post on her blog, I mean common, she is just amazing. Love me some RockABow.

Kristen and I have known each other for about 7 years now. My husband was in their wedding and they got married the weekend before we did. We even bought the same wedding dress! Not meaning to, of course, and don't worry it was rectified with little to no hair pulling! Her husband was one of my husband's first friends he made when his family moved to the area. Which leads me to the topic of fellowship. I define fellowship as surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals, who enjoy each others company.

Kristen and I have become really great friends, we are both full-fledged Christians, Mommys, handmade business owners, and obsessive about fabric. Like minded, I think so! I value Kristen in my life. I run to her for advise, a shoulder, when I have good news, a funny story or just need to hang out. I want to be around her because she builds me up, she encourages me, she speaks truth to me and we have SO MUCH FUN together. This is true fellowship.

While we were at a conference back in April we happened to come across a group of ladies that we instantly connected with. We spent the whole weekend together, eating, laughing, learning, laughing, telling stories, eating, eating, staying up SUPER late and genuinely enjoying one another. We all value the same things in life, and we all have handmade businesses. We have all stayed in contact and are even planning a craft retreat together. Another example of true fellowship and networking.

I want you to think about how you present yourself to those you meet? Are you a friend who gives as much as you get from your friends? Do you treat others how you would like to be treated? We won't always run into people we agree with or enjoy being around, but in the end you can only control YOU. It's still worth it to put yourself out there and meet other, like-minded people. I want to encourage you to leave comments on blogs, talk to someone on twitter, go to a conference, make connections. If you don't have a crafty bone in your body, find a mommy group to fellowship with, or serve at church to meet other people.

Wherever you are in life, it's important to have friends that know YOU and encourage you. It's just as important for you to be that friend to someone else.

Without friends like Nicole, I don't know if I would be standing as firmly as I am now. If you don't already have them, I encourage you to find some friends who will lift you up and hold you accountable. It had been so detrimental to me.

I also encourage you to go check out Nicole's blog

Influential Women: Power of Prayer

Although I did not grow up knowing or trusting in God, His hand in my life was obvious. I was protected from so much. I was directed down a path that ended up right at His feet. There is no doubt in my mind that I ended up where I did because of the prayers of many people. One of those people being my mother in law, Kim Murphy. She is a blessing to have as a mother in law and an amazing woman of prayer. Take a minute to get to know her...

I am a woman who desires to be effective in things that really matter. As a child, I was given a principal that has carried me through my journey as a person pursuing this goal. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and He will direct your path. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your path straight!" Learning how to trust in the Lord is an hour by hour, minute by minute effort on my part.

As a child, waking up to get ready for school, I could always count on my mother awake and kneeling beside the sofa, praying. To this day, that model of prayer has been a "calling" in my daily routine. I wish I could say there was the same consistency in my prayer life throughout the years but I cannot. Instead the reality of taking the time to pray for my children and their future spouse is a commitment in my life. It is a hope and maybe even a greater purpose for others.

I remember when our son introduced us to Kristen and later heard her of her love for Jesus. Oh, what a delight she is in my life. Steven was wise to ask her to marry him. There is a joy as I see the commitment she has in raising their children with a love for God and others. Now I can see clearly the powerful, effective work of my mother's prayers being answered. Truly, her influence as a woman who depends on His good work is a powerful legacy.

Today, I desire even more to be a person of effective purpose in my daily life. To continue as one who talks to God and cares for others. I am blessed and grateful to know that Kristen is a woman of prayer and conviction. Walking through life, "Trusting in the Lord with all of our heart..."

Amazing, right? To hear more from her, visit her blog.

Toddler Talk Tuesday

Coming up: Influential Women

Everyday, I strive to be a better person. A better Christian, more like Christ. Everyday I strive to do what I think He would do. Everyday, I fall short. I fail at living like Him.

I am not trying to get you to comfort me or lift me up. This is a truth in life. We will all fall short of the glory of God. BUT we should never stop striving.

This week, I have something amazing in store for you all.

There are women in my life, that when things get tough or when I feel like I CANNOT do it, That my sin is too big or no human is capable of living for Jesus, these women are there to model for me.

Whether I need to call on a friend to stand by my side, someone to pray for me or simply someone who has been through it and can model a righteous life before me, they are there.

This week, a few of those women are here! Are you excited? You should be.

There will be 3, maybe 4 women who have been extremely influential in my walk and my faith. They will be here to share. You are going to love it. So come back on Wednesday (since Toddler Talk is Tuesday) and hear/read what they have to say.

You will be moved, inspired and uplifted. Trust me. You will love these women.

My loss - My reaction

Go HERE to read the 1st part of this.

I couldn't pull myself out of bed for weeks. Did I really lose my baby? Was he/she really gone? I didn't want to face the world. I didn't want to see the people who shared in the joy of our recently announced pregnancy. I wanted to be alone, in silence.

I got tons of phone calls, people telling me it wasn't my fault. I 'knew' it was. Whether I did something wrong or my stupid body just couldn't carry my baby properly, it was my fault. I know better now, at least most of the time.

I got a call from a close friend, telling me not to blame God. What nerve! I never blamed God. In fact, I had never depended on Him more. I put my faith in Him to get through it all, I knew I could not get past this time without Him. I cannot tell you how many times I prayed, how many hours were spent with him in prayer or silence, listening for Him to tell me what to do next, how to use this for His glory. How the death of my unborn baby could result in glory was beyond me but I knew that He had a plan. I still don't know His plan but I cling daily to the hope that He will use that precious baby for good somehow.

Although the phone call made me beyond angry, it made me think. My husband and I were the youth leaders at our church. If this one person thought I was blaming God, what was everyone else thinking. After a few weeks at home, I decided I needed to go to church and face the crowd.

I got all the courtesy hugs and sympathetic words. I cannot tell you how many people told me stories of their own miscarriages and pointed to their now healthy children. Or how many people told me that I would be okay and I would have plenty of babies. These words did not comfort me. I wasn't worried about future babies, I knew they would come. I wanted the baby I lost, I wanted that baby's life to be recognized. I wanted that baby's death to be mourned.

Before church even began, I ducked into the office to hide. The church secretary was there, we ditched service and hung out in the office until everyone had left the building. I snuck out of the building and went back to my cave. I stayed there for another month.

I had to get back to work. We were struggling to pay our bills. My time off had put us into debt, not to mention our medical bills. We weren't trying for a baby, we didn't have insurance and I didn't qualify for any of the emergency medical care. We are still paying off debt acquired in that time. We had to move out of our apartment. We stayed with my grandma for a few months after that, trying to get back on our feet financially.

I had to re-enter the world. I had been hiding for too long. I was getting lost in my sorrow. Although I needed the silence, I would not recommend anyone dealing with loss being alone as much as I was. Going back to reality was tough but I managed.

I still struggle. The past few weeks have been extremely hard. This Halloween will mark 5 years of my pregnancy loss, my child's death. In my moments of weakness, I have had people say things like "you were only 3 months pregnant" "At least you weren't further along" I encourage you, to NEVER use these words. A life is a life. Please do not belittle peoples feelings or loss. Do no get me wrong, this is not to say that it wouldn't have been more devastating if I were further along or even more so if I had actually held my baby. Simply that the place and stage I was in was already bad enough. Comparisons were/are NOT needed.

I'm not sure why I am feeling the need to share this all with you or why I hadn't already. I don't know what it will make you think or feel. I hope that in some way this will help you to understand me and other mommys like me better. If you have had a loss of your own, I hope in some way I can encourage you or we can encourage eachother. Like I said, I'm not sure of the purpose of any of this, all I know is that God will use it. Somehow, He will use our circumstances, even the worse of them.

My Story- Loss

{I originally wrote this post ahead of time and scheduled it to publish on the worse day ever, I decided that responding to comments on the blog would just be too hard on that day. So I am sharing today and tomorrow.}

I had always hoped and dreamed for a Honeymoon baby. So, on October 8th 2006, when it was confirmed that I was 9 weeks pregnant (despite being on birth control), I knew it was an answer to my prayers. I had not actually got pregnant on our honeymoon but only weeks into our marriage. God was giving me the gift I had always hoped for.

The day I found out I was pregnant, was my dads birthday. We announced it to my family by giving him a Happy Birthday Grandpa card. We wasted no time in telling the world about our little blessing. How could we not share this overwhelming joy we were feeling?

About 2 weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I started spotting. The doctor told me not to worry, this was normal. I was still worried. My cousin took me to an early ultrasound tech. She said she couldn't tell me anything medical but she could show me the baby and it's very strong heartbeat. I breathed a sigh of relief.

A week after that came the cramping and the clotting. No! This could not be happening. This baby was a gift, God would not take that away!

On October 29th, we took a trip to Hoag hospital. (My doctor was in Anaheim but we were living in Costa Mesa at the time). Everyone was very comforting. The doctor in the ER was amazing. After sitting there worrying for a few hours I was taken in for an emergency ultrasound. The tech said that everything looked great. She showed me my babies super strong heartbeat and assured me that everything looked just right on my 7 week baby.

In that moment, when they told me that my due date was off but my baby looked perfectly fine, I painted on a fake smile. I acted like everything was great and pretended to believe that bed rest would do the trick. They sent me home saying that obviously you could never guarantee anything in pregnancy, especially in the first 13 weeks but they were not worried.

I left there acting calm and relieved. Deep down I was mortified. My baby should not have been measuring 7 weeks. My due date was not off. I knew it was not off. My baby should have been 12 weeks at this point. I continued acting like everything was fine. I didn't express these fears or concerns to anyone. I knew that God would work it all out. And the cramping got better. The bleeding slowed down.

Then, October 31st came. The cramping was back. We decided not to go to Harvest fest this time around. I was on bed rest. I looked forward to handing out candy to all of the cute kids that would be trick or treating. I made Steven get the good stuff. If I couldn't go out, I was going to be the cool house. But the trick or treaters never came. I know it sounds silly but the whole night all I could think about was "this is a sign that my child will never come"...I was right.

At 9:30 we decided to go to bed. By 10pm the "cramping" was to much to bear. I felt like I had to use the restroom but couldn't. After 30min I realized I was no longer cramping, I was contracting. At 11pm I delivered a small sack, in my bathroom. This was not the way I was supposed to deliver my baby. I should have been in a hospital, with doctors. The baby should have come out screaming and crying. Instead, I sat in my bathroom with a little sack and a thought that maybe that tan area was in fact my baby. I wept.

We left for the hospital. Because of finances we decided to go to Anaheim Memorial, where my doctor was. We called ahead. They told us to bring the sack that was "discharged". We arrived and waited. After only a few minutes they took us back. Soon enough they were taking my blood, missing my veins and spilling my blood on the floor. I felt like I was in a horror movie. They came and asked for the sack. They were going to take it to the lab for testing. I wanted to yell at them. Tell them it was not a lab mouse. No tests were needed. I am no doctor but I knew that was my baby! I was too emotionally drained to say anything.

I laid in my bed in silence. No tears, no words, nothing. What was there to say? After a while, a doctor came and took me for an exam. He then sent me for an ultrasound. Steven and I were directed through the poorly lit silent halls. I did not want to go. I wanted to go home.

We finally arrived to the techs room. It felt like it took hours to get there. She had me lay down and instructed me to insert the ultrasound wand. Was she serious? She wanted me to do it myself. I felt like I was being asked to go on a wild goose hunt for my own baby. I asked her if she could do it. She repeated the question "you want me to do it?" I wanted to yell at her. Isn't it your job?!?! I just responded with a yes, please. She looked around for a little while. I knew there was nothing. I couldn't see the screen. I could see it on Steven's face. Then came the dreaded words, by the rudest woman with the poorest bedside manner ever "Welp, no baby". I wanted to punch her. I wanted to get her fired. Instead, I laid there in silence.

I was silently wheeled back to my room in the ER, where my blood was still on the floor. After waiting an eternity, the doctor came in and told me that I had lost the baby. The good news was that I had in fact delivered the fetus and would not be needing a DNC. All I could mutter out was "thats what we said when we called". I left the hospital no longer pregnant and with no baby.

{Tomorrow I will be sharing how I reacted to it all}
Second Post 

Wordless Wednesday

Remember our first home I told you about? Here it is. Nothing more fitting for a wordless Wednesday than a shot like this. :(

First Family Vacay

{Warning: This post is picture loaded}

This past week was our very first vacation as a family. I shared a little bit about it here.

We spent most of our week long vacation in Arrowbear. Arrowbear is a small little town about 2 hours from us, somewhere between Arrowhead and Big Bear. We were blessed by family friends from church with their cabin, for free. Without them offering their cabin we would not have been able to take a vacation period, let alone a week long one. Side note: We only spent $160 in 7 days for a family of 4 vacation!!!

::Making her wishes::

::Leaves are high in protein or vitamins or something, right?::

::She claims she was making brother pretty::

::He was so proud to sit at the grown up table::

Rhiannon and Talon l-o-v-e-d the mountains. Rhi referred to the cabin as our mountain home. It was quite adorable. The kids both loved the dirt and all the little critters we saw.

It was a little to chilly to actually go in the lake, so that erased many of our options.

::She is so odd. I love that little personality!::

::Talon's favorite part of the mountains was the leaves.::

::I love and hate this picture. She is just too grown up. I just see her leaving for college. Tears!::

We went on an amazing hike. It was perfect for our little family. If you are ever in Arrowbear and are looking for an easy trail. The Sequoia Trail at the Heaps Peek Arboratuem. It was simple, secluded and beautiful.

Although we were having a blast at our "mountain home", the kids were getting home sick. We decided to head back home and finish up our trip as a staycation. We live in Orange County, so staying home can be quite fun.

Our first night home we went down to Disney. Hubby doesn't have a pass so him and Talon hung out in Downtown Disney while Rhi and I caught the monorail and went on a few rides.


The next day, despite the drizzling, we decided to take our bikes down to the beach for a family beach ride. When we got there, low and behold it was a beautiful day. Opps. We didn't bring swimsuits. We let the kids play in the sand, fully clothed.


Friday was a redo. We went back to the beach and this time wore swimsuits. We had a blast! We played in the water and in the sand. Steven and I wore the kids out. In fact, they both passed out on the beach. It was a great day.

This week was much needed. Now it is time to get back to work and back to reality. I am not sure if I'm ready.

Does the battle sport a such contour?

Insta-friday

This week has been an absolute blast. I thought I would take a break from the vacay to share some fun with you.


The fun started on Saturday with Sew Funky Market. The place was overflowing with people. I am so glad I snapped a picture before it opened up.

I came home, packed and got ready for vacation. Vacation began the next morning. We headed up to Arrowbear. I will tell you all about it sometime next week. This was our view, gorgeous.

Our time in the mountains was 3 1/2 days full of laughing, playing and....

...Dirt. There was lots of dirt. So much fun!

After a few days the kids were home-sick so we decided to head home and finish off our vacation as a staycation.


We live in SoCal so of course we started off with a trip to the beach. A long family bike ride. It really tuckered these little love bugs out.
We are all having so much fun. And of course relaxing.

I enjoyed sharing some fun instagram pics with you BUT I'm back to vacationing. I'll be back Monday.

Insta-friday Fun

This past Saturday I celebrated 5 amazing years with my husband. I think I mentioned that a few times already. Sorry, it was very exciting and I can't stop talking about it. This will be the last post about it, promise. I think.

I captured our date with some fun pictures via Instagram. It was a great day!

After 5 years, my man really knows me. So we started our morning the way every morning should begin...with a Venti iced beverage!

Up next was a bike ride on the beach. Unfortunately, my beach cruiser skills aren't advanced enough for me to shoot pics while riding. So, let's skip to lunch.
We parked on Magnolia and rode our way to the pier. Translation for those who are unfamiliar with Huntington, about 2 and a half miles. We shopped on the boardwalk and surronding area and had lunch at BJ's. If there anything better than their avocado egg rolls?

After lunch, we rode back to Magnolia and went down to the water. Hung out on the beach for an hour or so. It was a gorgeous day!

I goofed off on the drive home. We got dolled up and headed out to dinner.

I had the hottest date in the whole place by the way!

Dinner at Ruth's Chris. One word amazing! Okay, a few more words, do not leave there without ordering the Sweet Potatoes.

It was an amazing date. Can you tell?

Toddler Talk Tuesday

Sorry todays post is a little late. I wanted to wait until I had some photos to share with you.

Today I took Rhi to get her first big girl hair cut. She has had her hair trimmed up once before by my friend Tess, who is amazing and always does my hair! This was the first time she got to go to her "salon" and get a full blown cut.

We went to Rainbow kids and it was awesome. I grew up getting my hair cut there and knew it was always a fun experience. A few of our friends have taken their kids to Cool Cuts and they look super fun but I just couldn't fork out the amount of money they ask for a basic cut.

When we got there, there was only one person working so we had to hang out for about 30 minutes. Next time, we will make an appointment. The wait wasn't torture since they have lots of fun toys. Rhi and Talon especially liked the Play House. I think I need to invest in one. My children have never played so well together.

Rhi was such a good girl and made me super proud. I took lots of pictures to show her daddy since he couldn't be there. Here are some of my favs.

Waiting....

Not so sure.

Toys will help.

Before...

Fast scissors

After!

5 years!!!

Oh. My. Word. Where does time go? Tomorrow will be hubby and I's 5th anniversary! Craziness I tell you.

On Valentines Day, I shared our love story with you. He even shared his side of it. Last year, I talked a little bit about our wedding day. Since 5 years is kind of a big deal, I don't want to do a repeat post, so I thought that I'd doing a wrap up of our first 5 years together.

A lot has happened in these 5 years. I know it is so cliche but I have to say it, It has been quite an adventure. I feel so cheesy saying that but it is so true. Let me take you through a little bit of a time line.

The first year:

Honeymoonin'

We lived for free in an apartment attached to the church where we were youth leaders.
We had lots of health issues only to find our home was poisoning us, ahhh!
Move out of our first home, it gets condemned.
We get pregnant after only months of marriage but miscarry soon after.
Move in with Grandma to try and get out of debt the medical bills brought.
Leave the church we are pastoring at and return to our old home church.
Meet my great aunt's soon to be adopted daughter. Decide she should be ours, adoption doesn't work out. (We are put into 75yo aunts will to take custody if anything happens)


Year Numero Dos:


Move out of grandmas to beautiful Laguna Niguel.
After about 3 months, we find out ON THE NEWS that our apartments are sliding down the hill they are built on. I can't make this stuff up.
Find a home to buy BUT it won't be ready by evac day.
Move in with in laws while we wait in escrow.
Our house is ready.
Remodeling of the money pit begins.
WE ARE PREGO!

Year 3:

Daddy with baby pictures are always my fav

Start working with the Jr. High at our church.

Move into our home completely.
Have baby number 1, a girl. Rhiannon!
Start up a business, Rock-A-Bow is born.

Year 4:

We are pregnant again!!!
Almost lose baby to hemorrhage.
Discover mass on ovary.
Battle with health issues all year long.


Year 5 aka the past year:

Our growing family

Have baby #2, a boy Talon!
Have surgery to remove cyst.
I start working from home. Yay for WAHM's!
Start finally getting our finances on the same page. Thanks Dave Ramsey.
Celebrate 5 years together.

It has been a crazy 5 years. The best 5 years of my life. These 5 years have brought both good and bad times. We have learned the meaning of for better or for worse. Through every second we have been blessed and shared true joy. I cannot see what the next 5, 10, 50 years have to bring!