Five Tips for Helping Special Needs Kids Adjust During Life Changes

Life changes can be so difficult for kids. Add in special needs and even a good change can become somewhat traumatic. Preparation and accessibility to essentials can be key to making a life change easier to adjust to.

After our recent move went much smoother than we anticipated, I thought I would put together a list of things that worked for us and our little guy. By no means did things go 100% perfectly but his struggles were minuet. We had a few days of him crying that he wanted to go home but in the grand scheme of it all, it went remarkably well. I attribute the success that we did have to some tips we were given and some previous training tools that we implemented.

**Although the things we did were directed towards helping our 3 year old who has autism, it helped with all of our kids, autism and Nuero-typical alike.**

1. Inform of change as soon as possible. For us, it was selling our house and moving to a new home. For others it could be going from one school to the next, having a new sibling, losing a loved one...the possibilities are endless. Whatever the change is, let them know sooner than later. Give them time to adjust and talk about it a lot. If the change is a positive one, help them get excited about it.
For example, we showed Nixon pictures of the new house almost daily, talked to him about his new room and let him know what to expect when he got there. He was able to pick a theme so we talked about his "new monster room" whenever we got the chance. There was no element of surprise. He knew what to expect and when the change was coming.

2. Set the Rules and Remind them often. At least for my kiddo, being proactive is always more effective than correcting and bringing him back from a meltdown. Let them know what is expected of them. When triggers come about remind them of the rule and/or be prepared to intervene. This step can seem tedious but has always worked well in his ABA therapy. It has worked well during our transition as well.

A simple example for us is our stairs. Nixon is a sensory seeker, which means he will get a thrill out of jumping off as many stairs as possible, all while risking injury or giving me a heart attack. He was told right away that he could walk down slowly or crawl on his belly. As he approaches the stairs we simply ask "would you like to walk or crawl?". He knows the choice is his but there are only two options. Mind you he still jumps off the bottom 2 when he thinks I'm not looking. It's a work in progress.

3. As I mentioned before, keep necessities accessible. Whether everything is going to be packed or you will be away from the home a lot, it may be crucial to have certain items handy as much as possible. Special blankets, toys and comfort items can be placed in a separate bag that is grabbed last minute or always thrown in the car and ready when needed.

4. Keep up on routines or schedules as much as you can. There is already so much change happening, if you can keep some normalcy in life, do it! We are not super strict schedule people and that works okay for our little ones. We do, however, use visual schedules throughout our day so that he always knows what is going to happen. Even though our days are always different, he can see what is coming and when. 

He even gets to help lay out parts of the day, which is incredibly motivating for him. On top of just motivating them, giving them back a little control over their world when everything is changing can be a huge help.

5. Lastly, Be willing to make adjustments as you go. Kids all react differently. Goodness, kids change so much daily that they sometimes don't even seem like the same kid from one day to the next. If something isn't working, don't get discouraged. Be okay to make changes where needed. Consistency is key with kids but we also need to know when something is not right for our children. Parenting if tough but you've got this.

Remember, you know your child best. What works for us may not work for your family and that's okay. And of course, cover them in prayer. God has got it in His hands, when we feel like we can't do it anymore, He will take it from there. We are never alone in this.

I would love to hear from some of you on what tips you would give to help out another mama. Leave a comment and let us know.

This is our Autism

A few days ago I stumbled upon  this post. I was hesitant to even read it because I was so sick of everyone telling me what autism is "supposed to look like". Our son does not fit in the box that most people see as autism.

The post was talking about just that. It made me feel so much better to know that in fact, my child is not the only one who isn't like every other autistic child. In fact, as the saying goes "if you've met one child with autism, you have met one child with autism".




What does autism look like in our house?

It is jumping when he is nervous or overstimulated or excited or scared. Something we now know is called stemming and makes him feel better. Even if it's dangerous while walking through a parking lot or jars my back for the umpteenth time.

It's taking selfies over and over because he gets excited that he can finally see what mommy means when she tells him to make a happy face or any type of emotion on his face.




It's a routine that can't be broken. A person who is only good for the job he has associated with them.

It's hours of therapies and time taken away from normalcy. Mommy guilt galore as I have to dedicate the extra hours to one child.

It's chasing him down halls or aisles or beaches or anywhere because he runs and he doesn't respond to his name.

It's letting a two year old play on an iPad and hearing the whispers of all the things people wouldn't let their kids do...when really they have no clue.

It requires holding him down or putting him in his crib or stroller so that he can't bang his head on the floor anymore. So that he can't hit anymore. So everyone is safe.

It is fearing he will fall when he climbs high just to jump down. Or when he does everything in his power to get his face under water. Or wants to put everything in his mouth.

It's celebrating when he says a new word. Clapping when he can feed himself with a spoon. Happy Dancing when he plays with his peers and they don't exclude him.

His autism looks different then the kid sitting next to him. Our journeys and battles and triumphs are so different yet so alike.