A few days ago I stumbled upon this post. I was hesitant to even read it because I was so sick of everyone telling me what autism is "supposed to look like". Our son does not fit in the box that most people see as autism.
The post was talking about just that. It made me feel so much better to know that in fact, my child is not the only one who isn't like every other autistic child. In fact, as the saying goes "if you've met one child with autism, you have met one child with autism".
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What does autism look like in our house?
It is jumping when he is nervous or overstimulated or excited or scared. Something we now know is called stemming and makes him feel better. Even if it's dangerous while walking through a parking lot or jars my back for the umpteenth time.
It's taking selfies over and over because he gets excited that he can finally see what mommy means when she tells him to make a happy face or any type of emotion on his face.
It's a routine that can't be broken. A person who is only good for the job he has associated with them.
It's hours of therapies and time taken away from normalcy. Mommy guilt galore as I have to dedicate the extra hours to one child.
It's chasing him down halls or aisles or beaches or anywhere because he runs and he doesn't respond to his name.
It's letting a two year old play on an iPad and hearing the whispers of all the things people wouldn't let their kids do...when really they have no clue.
It requires holding him down or putting him in his crib or stroller so that he can't bang his head on the floor anymore. So that he can't hit anymore. So everyone is safe.
It is fearing he will fall when he climbs high just to jump down. Or when he does everything in his power to get his face under water. Or wants to put everything in his mouth.
It's celebrating when he says a new word. Clapping when he can feed himself with a spoon. Happy Dancing when he plays with his peers and they don't exclude him.
His autism looks different then the kid sitting next to him. Our journeys and battles and triumphs are so different yet so alike.
This is great, so honest and true. So glad you linked up so we could connect!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I linked too. I am finding a wonderful community thanks to your post and linky.
ReplyDeleteYour an amazing mother!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Our kids def push us to do what we never thought we were capable of.
DeleteSIB's (self injury behaviors) suck! Chasing them when they are not aware of danger and dealing with meltdowns when routines are broken may look as naughty behaviors or bad parenting from someone who has no idea what living with ASD is like. I've learned through the years in our journey that what matters is my boy and not what others believe or think of what autism is like. My focus is making sure that he is well and if the opportunity comes to answer questions or share i take it!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing a great job. Believe when I say, it gets better.
I am quickly learning to let people think what they want. Like you said, what matters is my son. Thank you for the encouragement, these beginning stages are so difficult.
DeleteInterestingly enough,your autism looks a LOT like our autism :) Give and take a few things, and that's how it is. I'm 8 years into the journey now, and you'll start to gain more confidence with those around you who want to give you their two cents. It will start feeling less like judgement and more like water rolling off a duck's back. You know your son, and nobody else has been with him at all times, since the beginning, and you have his best interests at heart. You're doing an amazing job. We need someone to tell us from time to time, because it's not like we were in any way prepared for this. Every day is like being dropped into a final exam for a class we never took :) I'm not going to pretend it gets any easier as a parent, but the part where what other's say or do will become much less of an issue. Keep your head up and know that many of us are right there with you!
ReplyDeleteThank you! We do need to hear it sometimes. In fact, I needed to hear it right now. This community of Autism moms that I am starting to find is amazing. I mean look, you and other women I have never met are here telling me how good I am doing and encouraging me. Some awesome moms who care so much for those like them, or going through something similar.
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