So many little things have happened this week and they've added up to be bigger. Do you ever have days or weeks like that? Nothing huge happens but the stack of little things amount to something so much more?
On my way to pick the kids up from VBS I told my mother in law "something big is going to happen in my kids this week because the enemy clearly does not want them here".
People! Are you ready for my big?
Okay, so let's back track a little here. Our 3 year old has autism. If you've been around here for a while you know that. Do you all know a lot about autism though? I still really don't fully understand what it means. I mean, it is really something different for every kid, so how can we really comprehend it?
For our little guy, it means lots of things. Some things are harder than others. A really hard aspect for us is relationship. Nixon desires to be social but doesn't always get it. I mean he has come a long way but he still is at a loss in a lot of areas.
He has a hard time reading emotion. He can mimic and makes an attempt to piece together the faces we show him on flash cards to real life emotion. He tries playing with other kids but doesn't really grasp friendships or relationships.
Seeing your child struggle to make connections and wondering if he will ever really have friends is hard. What is harder and scarier though is wondering if he will ever comprehend God. If he struggles with relationships when people are right in front of him, how will he ever understand a God who he cannot see? How do we teach him about the love of our savior if he doesn't even understand our love? We worry and pray about it often.
Enough back story now. Back to the "big" thing. As I asked the kids about what they had learned today, before the others could respond, Nixon belts out "Jesus". This is like the go to answer for kids in church but not THIS kid. His answer was a big deal. It gets bigger though. Surprised, I say "What about Jesus?" and proud as can be, yet totally nonchalantly he says "he my friend". Say what? That's right you guys, his friend!
Do I think that he really understands? I don't know. I think as much as a 3 year old can, he does. What I am realizing though is this: God does not have the boundaries that we do. He does not operate in the same ways that we do. He can penetrate the heart of a child whose brain may not understand. How silly are we to limit God?
How often do I fear the unknown and doubt what God can do? Why do we insist on telling God what He can do?
It is time to stop worrying and trust that God has this. I encourage you all, whatever is burdening you today, hand it over. Don't give up or count it as a loss so quickly. God is there. He has always been there. Even when we doubt. Even when we fear. He is there, ready to carry our burden and worry and sorrow for us. He WILL meet us where we are. As He is doing for Nixon, he will work around the things that hold us back. We just have to be willing to listen, to wait, to trust Him.
Can we all do that? And can you remind me tomorrow when my worry creeps back in?
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