The Day I Became a Special Needs Mom

Today, I became a special needs mom. There's something about a diagnosis that somehow changes everything. Between the hours of two and four o'clock today, nothing about Little Man changed, yet our world did.

His behaviors and functioning were the same yesterday as they were today...but today he is autistic. The A word. It rocks you. It shakes you in a way you would never imagine.

Looking at my boy before his evaluation, I already knew everything they were going to say. Sensory issues galore. Little to no eye contact. Severe speech delays. And the tantrums. I knew the words were coming before an evaluation was even referred. Yet today when the words left the doctors mouth, I froze.

All of the questions I had planned to ask when they gave me the diagnosis were lost. I just sat there. I nodded and agreed to all the things they listed about my boy. About my autistic son.

In a way, hearing it spoken out loud, helped me. For months, we have been in a place of what ifs and how do we's . This gives us so much clarity. You guys, I am going to be able to learn how to parent my kid. To be able to get him the therapies he needs to function. All I can think about is how, maybe just maybe, someday soon other kids will actually want to play with him.

Seeing your child struggle through the days is heart wrenching. Knowing that there is a reason for it brings a little relief. In no way are we wanting to label him or put him in a box. We know how big our God is. We know He will use this.

I feel like such a scattered mess. Half of me is heart broken. My sweet boy, he will live every day in a way that I cannot even imagine. I can try to grasp it and do my best to understand but I never really will. His life will be a little harder because of this. Our lives will be too. I feel so selfish saying that but it will be. From speech therapy to OT and ABA therapy, there will be hours spent.

On the other side, this boy radiates joy. He is the sweetest little love bug. He is worth every struggle and every minute spent.

I know that this diagnosis does not limit what he can do or who he can be. It means work but not boudries. It means struggles but not limitations. Being special needs does not put him on a specific path, we just need to figure out what route to take.

We are ready to put in the work to see little man blossom. I would be lying to say I wasn't a little relieved. His autism means I wasn't failing as his mom. Although before today I didn't know I was an autism mom, I was in the trenches, with no guidelines, no idea how to parent this child. It is not an easy place to be. To doubt everything you do because you aren't sure if you are disciplining your child for something that they truly can't control. Forcing them to do things that scare or overwhelm them. Now I know and now I can learn what he needs and how he needs it.

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....Before I ever gathered the courage to publish this post, are worlds got shook up more than ever before. The phone rang. A call I wasn't prepared to answer. "Mrs. Murphy, we have received the lab work back. Although most things came back negative. We do have one abnormality..." This is the moment that the room starts spinning and the words sound like a muffled slow motion mess. "There is a chromosome loss. His loss is indicating Cri-Du-Chat. A rare genetic disorder found in 1 in 50,000 children"

How can this even be possible? How can one child be dealt so many bad hands? One moment we were fine. The next we are finding out just how much of a challenge his life could actually be. We are trusting in God to give us guidance and answers and miracles. We are ready for this rain to stop and the blessings to shine.

There is no doubt in my mind that this is a life, that although hard, will be full of blessings. We have already seen so many little things that show us how God's hand has been in Little Man's life from day one, even as he was in his birth mother's womb. Many things we cannot share because of him being a foster placement. 

One thing I cannot get past is the location of his chromosome loss. Had it been anywhere else in the area where Cri-Du-Chat is located, he would have had a cat like cry. They would have known of this disorder from birth. They did not. This disorder puts him in a special needs category that we said we could not handle. We would have never received a placement call for him when he was detained. He was meant to be our child, regardless of whether we thought we could handle it or not. We had a plan but our God is bigger and His plans are far more beautiful.  I did not sign up for special needs adoption. In fact, I set limitations on it. But today, I am a special needs mom and it doesn't look anything like what I imagined.

Motherhood: A Rewarding Challenge

“This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Weave Made Media® and Lifeway Kefir, but all my opinions are my own. #weavemade # http://my-disclosur.es/RgFrEH”

With Mother's Day approaching, I have been thinking a lot about what it has meant to me to be a mom. Since, having my daughter my life has changed drastically and has altered more and more with each additional child. So what have all of these changes meant to me?

The first thing that usually comes to mind is that it is the hardest job that I have ever had but also the most rewarding. I wake up early(ish) and go to bed late. I don't get a lunch break, most days I don't even get a lunch. Unless you count the kids left over sandwich crust. The to do list never ends but only grows. The laundry and dishes resemble my to do list as they stack up higher and higher. While I face the chaos though, I get to watch them grow and learn. I get to witness and be a part of every little milestone and it is overwhelmingly beautiful and oh so worth it all.

My aunt told me the other day that "this season goes by so fast but you will feel every minute of it". Her words could not have been more true. We can already see it in the short years we have been through. I swear I just brought Rhiannon home from the hospital and she is 5 and we have three more. How has it sped by so much, yet felt like it would never end at times? The time is rushing by but we are feeling it. It is pretty amazing. Like I said, it is hard but so rewarding.

The feelings of being overwhelmed, in both the challenges and the joy of motherhood, are just the surface of how I feel about motherhood. Deep down, the true feeling that is stirring inside of me is honor. I am so honored to be their mama. I am so honored that God has entrusted ME with these kids. To raise them. To care for them. To keep them healthy and safe.

Raising kids today can be scary. Forget about the violence and just plain terrifying things that face us out there in this world. Simply what enters our home can be scary. There's so many diseases, chemicals in our food, things we just didn't have to worry about when we were growing up. Or maybe we just didn't know about them yet. Either way, this is a scary time to be raising kids. And to think, I am being trusted to care for 4 kids. Wow. It is such an honor to be a mom.

I am taking the privilege seriously and doing what I can to make sure I do the best I can to protect them. We try to eat as healthy as we can. As much organic, healthy food as possible. With the occasional junk because we are human. We filter what enters our home, on the TV and Radio, but also when it comes to healthy families (both physically and what kind of junk they bring with them). We need to be careful what we expose our kids to but also make sure they are exposed enough to shine their little lights. We use essential oils instead of the usual medications...and only feel a little bit like hippies because of it.

Recently we began purchasing LifeWay Kefir ProBugs. They are a great way to add probiotics into our little one's diets without them fighting us. The kids love them. They are delicious, the baby steals them and I had to go back to buy the Lowfat Kefir Probiotics. Beyond the taste and feeling like I should get an award based on the kids reactions when I give them to them, I feel like this is just one more step in making sure I am doing everything I can to take care of the little lives that I am responsible for.

I will never be the perfect mom. I fail daily and am teaching my kids to forgive with each mistake I make. I am learning along the way. With each day comes a new challenge and a new reward. I am so excited to see what the next stage brings. I know I will be tested and tried but this journey is one that I wouldn't give up for anything.

I would love to hear about your life as a mommy. So comment, tell me, what is your biggest trial or biggest reward as a mom?

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Yo Gabba Gabba Birthday

A few weeks ago, Little Man turned 2. It has gone by so fast. I feel like we just had his 1st Birthday Party. It has indeed been a year though. This years party was more low profile since he can't handle the crowds as well.

I have also decided that all birthdays, other than the big ones (one, five, ten, sixteen) will be done a little more simplistic. Talon's last birthday was rough on me, I tried smaller and hated it, you can read about that here. For Little Man's party, I feel like I found my place. I still stuck to the more handmade, personalized feel but incorporated some store bought and simple accents. I loved it. And Little man...well, we still have a few decorations up. We are having to gradually move things.

The theme this year was Yo Gabba Gabba. He is obsessed and we couldn't think of anything he would love more.

 We stuck with bright colors. Trying to only use the colors of the characters. Purchased the pinwheels pre-made (just needed to be fanned out) from party city. It helped to keep a handmade look without the extra work.

The party was later in the day, planned around nap time, so we only served snacks and desserts. My goodness did that save us time. I am usually in the kitchen for hours on party days. This party was all prepped the day before.

Added in some balloons and character decorations and we were set. It was a hit with little man. 

 Oh, and his favorite part? Yo Gabba Gabba logo on the chalk wall. It's the little things I guess.

Easter Recap

Easter is always such a fun time for us. It goes beyond the egg hunts and dinners, it is about the day that our Savior conquered death and made eternal life by His side possible. That we cannot capture in pictures. The celebration is what we can capture. And we captured a lot of it.

Here is our Easter...in pictures. Sorry for the overload, we had a lot of fun! Oh, and I have a Bajillion photos of Little Man I am dying to share. He was hammin' it up all day. Torture not to share!

My youngest, my dad and I

Baby's first Easter

They are silly...they get it from me.

The sassiest girl around

A boy on a mission

 How did you spend your Easter?

No More Stinky Feet

**Disclaimer: I received samples of Etnies Scout shoes to wear and give my honest opinion. 

No other compensation was received. **

I have a confession to make. Our house is a house full of stinky feet. Not just the hubby and I. In fact, it's mostly the kids. Seriously though, the other day in the car, I yelled at Steven to put his stinky shoes back on his nasty feet...turns out, it was Rhi who took her shoes off. This simple fact made me so excited to try out the new Etnies Kids Scout Shoes.

Rhiannon was stoked when a package came with PINK shoes for her. They come in four colors but of course the pink is the only one that matters to this little Princess. Besides the color options, the shoes are super comfy and ridiculously lightweight. My favorite part about the shoe though, is that it breathes. The combination of breathability, STI Evolution Foam™ midsole and the Ortholite outsole, which features a patented salt-based antimicrobial that fights against fungus, bacteria and odor, makes this shoe perfect for your kiddo to hit the ground running.

Available at Etnies.com

Rhiannon and I have had the shoes for a few weeks now and honestly they are one of the most comfy pairs of shoes I own.  I love that she can be her girly princess loving self in her pink shoes but also be comfortable and stink free. 

We have always been big fans of Etnies, the Kids Scout Shoes exceeded our expectations though. Stylish, comfortable and breathable. AND I have a discount for you!

Available at Etnies.com

Order your Etnies on-line and get 25% off through July 1st 2014.  ETNIESKIDS4U

(Discount does not apply to items on sale.)Learn more about Etnies via Social Media: 

Website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

About etnies:

Established in 1986, etnies is the first skateboarder-owned and operated global action sports footwear and apparel company. etnies not only pushed the envelope by creating the first pro model skate shoe, but it pioneered technological advances  and changed the face of skateboard footwear forever. Today, etnies’ vision, led by owner and skateboarder Pierre-André Senizergues, is to remain the leading action sports company committed to creating innovative products that provide the most style, comfort and protection possible.  etnies stays true to its roots by sponsoring world class skateboarding, surfing, snowboarding, moto x, BMX and auto teams and continues its dedication by giving back to each of these communities.  For additional information, visit etnies.com.

7 Tips for a Better Beach Bod

“This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group™ and Dr. Pepper Snapple Group but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #TENways  http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV”

Summer is just around the corner. It sneaks up on me every year. The dreaded bathing suit shopping season has reared it's ugly head and I refuse to let it beat me this year. I'm not hiding behind my towel anymore. I am gonna be the mom who not only slips into a swimsuit but I am going to comfortably splash around in the pool with my kids and chase them around the beach. I want you to join me, so I put together a list of things to help us get there.

1. Be Realistic
First and foremost, let's set realistic goals. I can't tell you how many times I have said that I am going to lose X amount of pounds and then after one week step on the scale only to be so discouraged that I give up all together. Let's face it, we aren't teenagers any more. Our bodies have changed. Many of us have birthed babies and we just don't come back from that. Not 100%. So let's make a goal to be a better version of ourselves and not fail at being a perfect replica of the girls in magazines. Then we can wear it proud. Deal? Let's move on.

2. Water, Water and more Water.
Drink it up ladies. Not only drink it, plan it out. We have been told a million and one times that we should always drink at least eight glasses a day but what if we planned them out better. Instead of trying to chug them down at the end of the day when we realize we forgot (admit it. I'm not alone here), let's put them in the most helpful areas of our day. Drink 2 glasses before your big meals of the day. This will help to fill your tummy before you fill it with excess food. The other 2 glasses, put them between meals to keep you full longer. Make sure to still eat up your needed calories though. Water does not replace food.

3. Exercise 
Whaaa?!?! You mean to tell me that stuff actually works. Lik,e more than the magic pill that you got off the infomercial. Yeah, go figure. In the past, I avoided exercise like the plague. No time. No energy. NO! It only takes 30 minutes of getting your heart rate moving to see some results. The energy, you'll get more of it if you get your body moving. So dance, or run, or take the kids for a walk up hill. It will suck majorly at first but you will appreciate it later.

4. Choose Lower Calorie Options
I have a weakness for soda. I love it but it's usually not an option while trying to get fit. I am not a fan of diet so it puts a wrench in my goals. So, I was thrilled when I found the TEN Sodas at Wal-Mart. Ten Calorie soda that still tastes like...well, soda. I was able to cut my calories but have a full flavor drink.  Totally cheating the system without cheating myself. I'm a huge fan of the A&W. Oh, and if you want to really splurge and treat yourself, add a scoop of Vanilla frozen yogurt and thank me later. Mmmm.

Wal-Mart also has 7-Up Ten, Sunkist Ten, and Canadian Dry Ten. Get $0.50 off of the purchase of two 2 Liter bottles or two 4-pack cans with this offer or if you were to share that digital coupon you can get a $1.50 off coupon instead!. Offer available while Supplies Last.

The 10 Calorie Sodas are also really great options for using in recipes that call for soda. I want to give pulled pork a try with the A&W Ten!

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5. Replace a Meal with a Green Smoothie
It's so easy to chose bad options for meals when we are running around taking care of kids, jobs or just life in general. A muffin or a doughnut are convenient in the morning. What if instead though, we grabs a bunch of healthy ingredients, like spinach and fruits, and blended up a green smoothie for breakfast. Not only would we be giving our bodies less calories but good healthy ones at that. Greens don't have to be the yucky choice, we have found so many smoothies that we love, like our Kid Friendly Smoothie.

6. No Midnight Snack
Please, don't hurt me. I know. I get it. I love dessert in bed as much as the next girl. Probably more. Eating at bedtime or really anytime after 8pm, is usually always a bad idea. Unless you are PMSing or having the day from "you know where", put down the Oreos and hop back in bed. Trust me it works. Even if you do cry to your husband that you are starving but only for ice cream. Shout out to my hubby! Ha!

7. Portion Control
Simple way to do some good ol' portion control? Use a smaller plate. Serve yourself a meal on your salad plates. The plate doesn't start off looking empty, so you don't feel ripped off. You still are getting the food you want, just a little less. If you are still hungry, you can get up for more but this will stop you from overeating simply because it is there. Make sure to carry over this rule during snacks as well. Instead of grabbing a bag of chips because it's easy, have a small bag of low sodium almonds on hand.

Now girls, go buy your bathing suits and wear them proud. Oh, and hop in front of the camera with your kids. These are memories you will want to remember. Don't miss out because Junior added 5 pounds to your hips and his sister gave you love handles.

Play Groups

Sibling rivalry. It's a difficult challenge for any family. Even the most laid back kids who tend to always go with the flow can have a hard time when it comes to sharing attention and time with mom. The past few months have been especially hard for our three year old. He is already in the stage that I have found to be the hardest. Three year olds are tough man! To top off his challenging age he is struggling at times with the attention that Little Man gets. With weekly Social Worker visits and now evaluations and soon therapies, it seems like all eyes are on Little Man a lot of the time. Then there's baby who nurses and gets to be worn all the time. Big sister is the only girl so she has all the "look at me twirl" attention on her. I feel like at times, even though we are working hard to make things even, Talon just feels left out. 

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We are making a huge effort to take time for just him. I've told you guys here, quite a few times about his love to pretend and explore. He is a goal oriented dreamer to the max. So when Pretend City contacted me about the launch of their new play groups... Oh man, I swore they designed these bad boys just for us. Right in our timing too. 

There are a few different options as far as age groups. We will be heading to the Three-Year-Old group starting this week. We would love to meet some new friends. There are also groups for 18-24 months, two year olds and four year olds. Here's what they'll look like.

Children learn and grow through play, and below are the age-specific groups for a child’s developmental level:

• Children ages 18 – 24 months: Young Toddler Playgroup 

Each week this playgroup will focus on a new play type and activity to foster toddler’s cognitive, motor and language skills as well as develop creativity and relational skills. 

• Children ages two years of age: Terrific Two Playgroup 

This playgroup will help support children to choose peaceful, positive behaviors. Learn how children communicate through play the way they see the world. Understanding a two-year-old’s perspective sheds light on how to deal with challenging behavior. 

• Children ages three years of age: Three-Year-Old Playgroup 

This playgroup understands that while children at age three are becoming more independent, theyare also learning how to engage with other children as they branch out to discover more about the world. This playgroup will provide tips to support children’s safe exploration and discovery. The age-specific activities will also help children when conflicts arise as they learn how to play and get along.

• Children ages four years of age: Fabulous Four Playgroup 

This playgroup provides children opportunities for math-play, science-play and language-play. It also helps children learn, understand and practice basic social and emotional skills. These social and emotional skills combined with different curriculum areas will provide children foundational skill-building necessary for success. 

The four specially designed “Play’s the Way” playgroups are designed to meet kids where they are at in their ages and stages. Which is huge for us right now. Talon NEEDS that. 

The groups will be lead by playgroup liaisons, including experienced and trained early childhood and child development educators, Brainbuilders and Pretendgineers.   

Pretend City will be providing information, resources, and skills to grown-ups in addition to children because as our kids change, so do we. I mean we learn as we go to a certain extent.

Register by visiting pretendcity.org/classes-workshops/. Cost is $75 per grown-up and child pair and $60 for Pretend City Members. Groups hold a minimum and maximum enrollment for pairs. For information on Pretend City Children’s Museum and its education-based programs, visit www.pretendcity.org. 

Let me know if we will be meeting you there!