Since I was a little girl I knew I wanted a big family. I come from a big family. My dad has lots of siblings and so did his dad. In fact when my great grandma passed away her obituary said that she was survived by 317 grandchildren/great grandchildren. That was years ago and I believe the number has grown. Whatever the number may be, it is a blast having so many relatives. I want to continue that. Do I want 14 kids like my great grandma had? No. Well I don't think so. I do know that I want a lot of children.
Steven and I have always said that we would have what we could handle financially. I told a friend the other day that I thought this was God warming me up to His plan. I'll explain later.
As sure as I am that I want lots of kids, I am even more sure that I want to adopt. Again, the number I am not sure. (By I, keep in mind that I mean we, hubby is so on the same page) I am also not sure how we plan to adopt. International (the one thing hubby is not on board with), Local, Private, Open, Foster to Adopt...we just don't know. I love the idea of a baby from Africa or China but it is just not an option for us. For numerous reasons that I don't have time to get into. Remember I blog while my baby is on my lap or napping?
I have always had this dream of adopting a baby by standing outside of an abortion clinic and talking someone out of aborting the beautiful child they are carrying. Telling them that I will gladly adopt the precious life they hold. And although I still feel strongly about doing that or even just having you tell a friend who is desperate that I am here, I think God may have another plan.
You see the past few months the topic of Foster to Adopt has been brought up. Let me tell you how much I hate the idea of this. I just get these images of holding this amazing child that I have had for months and then having someone come in and rip them out of my hands to take back to the mom that abandoned them. Don't read to much into that, I don't think all moms that give their kids up are evil, only the one in my head taking my baby back. However, every time I hear or think about the option of Fostering to Adopt, I feel something pulling me. I don't want to say it is God because I am not positive and I don't want to put words into His mouth. But I think it might be.
At this time in our lives, we could not afford to have another child. We surely don't have enough for adoption. This is where the part about the thing I said before "God warming me up to it". Lately, whenever I say there is no way we could afford to adopt, I feel like God is saying "If you are willing to take a child, I am willing to provide" Not His exact words or even surely His words at all. You see a parent through Foster Care is given money to assist in raising the child. No, this is not the reason I would be doing it. I do not care about the money. It is only enough to help with the child. Key word being HELP. It does not cover everything but it would be enough to make another child affordable for us. Does that make sense? I don't want people to think I want a child for the money, so I really hope that is clear.
Does this make my fears go away? No! Not at all. I am terrified that if we go this route I may have a baby taken back, if not more than one. I am trying to wrap my mind around all of this. I feel overwhelmed. I am not saying that we are going to do this soon or at all for that matter. I want to confirm that this is really truly God speaking before we move forward but I want your input. Sooo...comment here or email me! Tell me your story or of someone you know. I want info and input on our plans.
What you are doing is amazing. Bless your (and your hubby's) heart. I truly admire you for all that you do--you are an AMAZING woman! What ever path you decide to follow, I can't wait to hear all about it and I wish you and your family nothing but the very best in your experiences. In my personally experience being so close with a family who took in Foster Children, just be prepared (emotionally) for the child to be taken from you. You have to be ok with that, because majority of times that does happen---or so that's how if was with the family that I was very close with at the time. Please keep us posted on this!! =) Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteJust the fact that God is working in your heart towards this is so exciting!! After our second miscarriage last year, Mike and I both felt that God was pulling us in a different direction. Through much prayer, we selected an agency (we were specifically looking at Ethiopia) and began the paperwork process. It was a matter of two weeks after getting the paperwork that I found out I was pregnant. Because this particular agency doesn't work with a family currently expecting, it was put on hold. But, we both have hearts for it and definitely see it as something possible for the future.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'll be praying for you guys! We have friends that just pulled out of the foster to adopt program because they have a 2 year old and after having their foster child returned to her birthmother, they decided it was too emotionally difficult on their daughter. But, they said that as she gets older and can understand more, they will go back to it. I think they had the other little girl for about 4 months.
Jill
I have two friends who would be more than happy to share their experiences with you! My friend Brandi and her husband just adopted a little boy from Ghana. It was $25,000, but God was faithful and provided ALL the money necessary to bring him home! They only paid $1,300 out of pocket, which was given back to them in the form of an adoption tax credit. God is so faithful!
ReplyDeleteMy really good friend Kristy and her husband have been foster parents for years. I know one thing she tells everyone is that adoptable foster children are rare. (The goal of foster care is reunification with the birth parents once they get their lives in order.) She's had plenty of kids come in and out of her home. In fact, they just found out that the 2 year old little girl they have had since she was a preemie is, in fact, adoptable. After her adoption, they are pulling out of foster care. She said that is just too much emotionally.
Both are amazing, beautiful things to do, and I know God will steer you in the direction He has already laid out for you. Don't let money be a factor! God will provide, not matter what the cost.
Alex and I have a huge heart for adoption, especially from an orphanage in Mexico that we have close ties with. (Mexico has some weird laws, like having to be a Mexican citizen to adopt - which Alex is in addition to being a US citizen.)
Keep us posted on your journey! I love seeing the unique ways God brings families together!
Wow Kristen! I know this is going to sound weird but I feel the exact same way ib this matter! I also came from a big family and my dream is to adopt a baby and give that baby a great life. We have even talked about fostering with my husband but we are not in the best situation right now but definitively looking forward to one day opening our home and hearts to a precious kid! I'm so excited to see what God will do in your little familiy's life! It's amazing to get to know you guys. You're a wonderful momma!
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