Today marks one year since Little Man has entered our life. I remember the day like it was yesterday.
It all started with a phone call.
"Mrs. Murphy, are you ready?"
Uhhhh. yes!!!!!
"We have a 4month old baby boy, here is what we know...."
WE WANT HIM!
"Do you need to ask your husband?"
No. We want him. I don't need to ask. (Don't judge me people, it was my baby I felt it. Hubby understood haha)
"Ok, I will call the social worker and let them know there is a family if he still needs one."
Then we waited and waited. For two hours. Then the call. He would be here is a few hours. So we shopped.
He arrived. Not at all how you expect a child to come. A knock on the door. A child placed in my arms while a woman ran to her car, grabbed a small bag and a stroller. She had us look him over, sign a few papers and left. We didn't even know how to pronounce his name (we weren't even positive until our first visit 3 months later). This precious boy was basically dropped on our doorstep, it was so surreal.
You know that feeling when your baby is first placed on your chest? That overwhelming feeling of love? That is how we felt when handed Little Man. I loved him just like my others. Insane love and attachment instantly. It scared me. He is still someone else's child. He can still leave. But oh the love he will receive while he is here...and forever.
This year has been a beautiful mess.
We have had tears and laughter, sometimes both at the same time.
We've had weekly visits and then none at all. And then the same thing all over again.
There have been court dates and postponements. Oh the postponements.
There have been scary decisions made by a judge whose name we didn't even know. With a lawyer we didn't even know had changed. We have dealt with a broken system.
We have seen his first teeth come in. Watched him learn to roll, crawl, walk run and jump.
We have heard his first words. He calls me mama.
A few family vacations. Lots of fun days. Disneyland. Beaches. Zoos. Adventures.
His first birthday has come and gone. We have celebrated his milestones. His months, year and HIM.
We've watched him fail to attach. We have felt the heartbreak of loving a baby who was too scared of us leaving to really truly love us back. We celebrated a bit, the first time that he cried when we left. He loves us. We've watched him fall asleep numerous nights, knowing he was scared we would leave. We still have these nights. He is attached and sometimes scared.
We've been amazed at how early he learned so much. When he was placed in our home, he could roll to one side. Within weeks he was rolling and crawling. He started taking steps at 10.5 months. He started fully walking on his birthday. We are fairly certain he was walking behind our backs before then. He is a silly little joker.
He has always had the sweetest smile. It seems to get bigger and brighter by the day or maybe even minute. His full belly laugh will melt you but only if you can see his face, because he laughs so hard and intensely he often sounds like he is scream-crying, as we call it.
This boy radiates joy even through his struggles.
This year has been crazy. This year has been joyous. This year has been hard. This year has been fun. This year has been emotional. This year has been amazing.
Little man has grown. He has attached. He loves. He struggles. He clings. He fights. He brings laughter and smiles everywhere he goes. He is amazing.
We have grown. We have attached. We love. We struggle. We cling to. We fight. We laugh and smile. We are amazed at what God has done.
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
A Baby Story: Corbin Grey
You
write up a birth plan. You plan out the details. Discuss and confirm
every thing with your doctor. It's going to be beautiful and perfect.
Until it isn't.
That's how this labor went.
We
decided to go all natural this time around. No epidural. No drugs at
all. I was going to experience the real deal. I was actually pretty
excited about it.
Then
for numerous health reasons, after a lot of consideration and prayer we
(doctor, hubby and I) decided that an induction was the best option for
baby and I.
With
the decision for an induction, came the decision to have an epidural.
It was not an easy decision but the thought of no pain meds during the
intense labor induction brings terrified me.
The
decision to induce and have an epidural threw my loved birth plan out
the window. Bye bye birthing ball, showers and ability to rock and walk
the halls. Hello being locked down to a hospital bed. Sadness. But a
good decision for my baby and I.
Plus side,
at least it'll be pain free, right? Right? Someone tell me epidurals
always work! Or don't, you'd be lying. We'll get to that though.
Induction
day came. Family was on call. We knew it would be quick. My first labor
was 9 hours, second was 6. This would be 3, right? Wrong!!
We arrived at the hospital. Got checked in. Waited about an hour and were in the room by 11am.
They checked my cervix and I was at a three. Booyah!!! I'd never been
dilated before labor in the past. This was gonna be over in an instant.
Pitocin was started and my first contraction came at around 1:30.
I toughed through what the nurse called intense contractions for about 2
hours. It wasn't too bad. We walked the halls, I rocked in the rocking
chair for a bit. It was the best part of any labor I've had because I
was doing it! The nurse informed us that if I wanted an epidural in the
next few hours I needed to do it now.
The epidural was placed and my water was broke. With the other two, after my water broke it was about an hour. It was go time.
After
about 5 minutes, I wasn't feeling well. Like really bad. Nauseous,
light headed, room spinning. The epidural caused my blood pressure to
drop. They gave me something in the IV and instantly I felt fine. It was
really go time now.
About
an hour later, I was still in labor. Instead of feeling the urge to
push like I expected, I felt nauseous again. I felt like I was going to
pass out. From what everyone in the room says, my eyes rolled back in my
head, the bottom of my feet were blue and I was pale white. My blood
pressure had dropped to 60/58!!! More ephedrine in the IV and I was
fine.
But
why couldn't I feel my legs. Epidural was settling in them. My
contractions were not being picked up by external or internal monitors.
Had they stopped? Sure enough my labor would not stick. It went off and
on for 13 hours where I stayed dilated at a 4 the WHOLE time.
All
of a sudden, horrible contractions. I let the nurse know I was in pain.
Yes, in pain despite an epidural. For some reason the epidural was only
working from my waist down. I felt everything from this point
on...everything except my legs. My legs felt like logs, heavy logs that I
could lift on my own. But things were progressing.
I was at 7. After 20 minutes I informed her I was feeling the pain and a little pressure. We were almost there.
Doctor
was called and we kicked my family out of the room. As the doctor was
prepping I had the urge to push, so we started. 1 push and there was his
head. Within 4 pushes he was here. The labor from hell turned into the
easiest delivery ever.
This precious baby was placed on my chest and I have been in love ever since.
Corbin Grey was born on July 23rd at 3:23am. He was 9lb 11oz and 21.5in
He is growing quickly and is the sweetest little guy.
 |
| First picture as a family of 6. It's cuter without Little Man's disguise but it'll do :) |
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
A Girly Little Shower
This weekend I had the honor of co-hosting a baby shower for one of my best friends. Since Stefani is expecting her 3rd baby girl, our friend Bryanna and I teamed up to throw a girly, more classy and intimate shower. It was so fun to see all of the ideas that were floating around in our head come together.
We got some inspiration from bloggers on pinterest and incorporated our own ideas in with them. We wanted something that shouted girl but wasn't quite as baby as most showers. We went with a pink and grey color scheme and just had fun with it.
To keep it intimate we kept everyone at one long table. The runner and centerpieces were inspired by the Anthony & Stork blog but made by Bryanna and myself. We put the place settings at each seat and wrapped bow sashes around each chair. The outcome was so pretty.
Since the shower was later in the day, we decided on a dessert shower. Bryanna was able to borrow a bunch of beautiful vintage serving pieces that we placed atop Rhiannon's dresser. Hung a fun banner and tutu balls above it. Loved!
We used our vanity as a drink table and covered it with stuff for coffee and yummy sparkling drinks to go into our champagne glasses.
For favors, we gave out Nail polishes and decals from the mama to be's shop. Chevron decals to match the decor, of course :)
The shower was kept simple with an awesome devotional shared by Bryanna and Gift Time Bingo. For prizes I made up a couple of Fold-over clutches.
All in all it was a beautiful day spent celebrating Stefani and Baby Bridgette.
Photo Credit:
So I was lame and forgot my camera. Phone photos were not cutting it with harsh lighting. Luckily, our sweet friend Babara from Chase the Star was there to save the day and snap most of the photos :)
Linking up at Sew Chatty, Whimsy Wednesday, Chase the Star, Lil' Luna and Ginger Snap Crafts.
We got some inspiration from bloggers on pinterest and incorporated our own ideas in with them. We wanted something that shouted girl but wasn't quite as baby as most showers. We went with a pink and grey color scheme and just had fun with it.
To keep it intimate we kept everyone at one long table. The runner and centerpieces were inspired by the Anthony & Stork blog but made by Bryanna and myself. We put the place settings at each seat and wrapped bow sashes around each chair. The outcome was so pretty.
Since the shower was later in the day, we decided on a dessert shower. Bryanna was able to borrow a bunch of beautiful vintage serving pieces that we placed atop Rhiannon's dresser. Hung a fun banner and tutu balls above it. Loved!
We used our vanity as a drink table and covered it with stuff for coffee and yummy sparkling drinks to go into our champagne glasses.
For favors, we gave out Nail polishes and decals from the mama to be's shop. Chevron decals to match the decor, of course :)
The shower was kept simple with an awesome devotional shared by Bryanna and Gift Time Bingo. For prizes I made up a couple of Fold-over clutches.
All in all it was a beautiful day spent celebrating Stefani and Baby Bridgette.
Photo Credit:
So I was lame and forgot my camera. Phone photos were not cutting it with harsh lighting. Luckily, our sweet friend Babara from Chase the Star was there to save the day and snap most of the photos :)
Linking up at Sew Chatty, Whimsy Wednesday, Chase the Star, Lil' Luna and Ginger Snap Crafts.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Land of Nod
Going on baby number four, I have had the time and opportunity to really pin point our nursery style. Something modern and fun but still holding onto the sweetness that every baby should contain. Land of Nod offers just that: beautifully on trend items that are well made and pretty affordable.
We have been glancing on-line lately, looking for new pieces to add some new furniture and decor to what we already have. I am really hoping to give our new little guy a space of his own even though he will be sharing a room with his very girly sister. The biggest piece I am hoping to add is a comfy rocker or glider for late night nursing and just good old snuggling.
When I saw this one, I about died. It looks so comfy and practical and the color. Oh, the color. I would love to sit in this chair. To have memories with my sweet little one rocking by his crib.
Oh and if the little ones are anything like Rhiannon was when I brought Talon home from the hospital, they will want to be involved in every little detail of baby boy's day. That includes rocking and nursing time.
I want them to feel welcome to be a part of everything. To help and keep me company. A chair like this, next to mommy's chair would be so much fun. Plus, do you know how stinkin' cute my kids would be hanging out in this thing? I mean I will use any excuse to add this to our home. Ha!
As you could guess, the second I found the Land of Nod site, I was putting things on a wish list like a mad man...until I discovered that they had a registry. Of course I set one up. Who cares if I already sent out my invites, I will be sending everyone there. I want it all!!!!
In case you haven't caught on, I am beyond stoked about my new find. If you could only imagine the pregnant cartwheels I did when I heard that Land of Nod is coming to California!!!! Not just anywhere but only miles away at South Coast Plaza. ::Enter school girl squeel here!:: Dying you guys, dying!
This zebra just might be found in a store I can send my family to...you know the family who won't dare enter their credit card number on the interwebs (yes, there are still people who won't and I am related to all of them).
May 31st, the grand opening of Land of Nod at South Coast Plaza will be happening. You need to be there. Like for real. There will be giveaways happening all day and customers who come to shop early will be getting free goodies. And let's be real, with products like that ^^^ do you want to miss the opportunity to win or receive what they have to offer? No? Me either.
I cannot wait to go and shop the store. Until then, I will be stalking the website. Making sure I didn't miss anything I want or need.
 |
| Animal Wall Art |
We have been glancing on-line lately, looking for new pieces to add some new furniture and decor to what we already have. I am really hoping to give our new little guy a space of his own even though he will be sharing a room with his very girly sister. The biggest piece I am hoping to add is a comfy rocker or glider for late night nursing and just good old snuggling.
 |
| Swivel Glider and Ottoman in Aruba |
When I saw this one, I about died. It looks so comfy and practical and the color. Oh, the color. I would love to sit in this chair. To have memories with my sweet little one rocking by his crib.
Oh and if the little ones are anything like Rhiannon was when I brought Talon home from the hospital, they will want to be involved in every little detail of baby boy's day. That includes rocking and nursing time.
 | ||
| Sailboat Nod Chair |
I want them to feel welcome to be a part of everything. To help and keep me company. A chair like this, next to mommy's chair would be so much fun. Plus, do you know how stinkin' cute my kids would be hanging out in this thing? I mean I will use any excuse to add this to our home. Ha!
As you could guess, the second I found the Land of Nod site, I was putting things on a wish list like a mad man...until I discovered that they had a registry. Of course I set one up. Who cares if I already sent out my invites, I will be sending everyone there. I want it all!!!!
In case you haven't caught on, I am beyond stoked about my new find. If you could only imagine the pregnant cartwheels I did when I heard that Land of Nod is coming to California!!!! Not just anywhere but only miles away at South Coast Plaza. ::Enter school girl squeel here!:: Dying you guys, dying!
 |
| Decor on Safari - Zebra |
May 31st, the grand opening of Land of Nod at South Coast Plaza will be happening. You need to be there. Like for real. There will be giveaways happening all day and customers who come to shop early will be getting free goodies. And let's be real, with products like that ^^^ do you want to miss the opportunity to win or receive what they have to offer? No? Me either.
I cannot wait to go and shop the store. Until then, I will be stalking the website. Making sure I didn't miss anything I want or need.
If you can't make it to the opening or you aren't local, it's okay, you can find them all over online.
Oh, one more thing...
 |
| Land of Nod- Real Families |
The Land of Nod is having a Win a Room Sweepstakes that runs from now until 11:59 PM CT June 17, 2013. With a grand prize winner receiving a Room designed by The Land of Nod, including:
(1) Design consultation with The Land of Nod design team.
(2) Room makeover with selected product from The Land of Nod.
(3) Feature in The Land of Nod Real Families section of an upcoming Catalog.
Total Approximate retail value of the Grand Prize is $4,000!!!!
You can thank me now for sharing that. I was almost greedy and left it out to better my chances. So, you are welcome.
Let's have some fun, head over to their site now and come back to share with us what items are on your wishlist!
“This post is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Land of Nod, but all my opinions are my own. #PMedia #NODinCA http://cmp.ly/3/8vNxcO.”
Sunday, March 25, 2012
All Caged Up
This weeks big project was finishing up a quilt that I was making for my little niece who will be arriving in May :)
The theme that my sis in law is going with in the nursery is bright and fun. Birdcages and flowers. Just plain girly.
She wanted something simple in layout and the attention to be on the pretty fabrics that we decided on. So I did basic blocks with a solid border.
Since my husbands entire family is big on texture and comfort, there was no option but minky for the backing. Haha. I prefer minky on baby quilts anyhow so it worked out well.
I wanted to actually quilt the blanket (for long lasting purposes) but my SIL is not a fan of the quilted look, so we met in the middle and I just went with a stitching in the ditch.
I love the way it all came together. The fabrics are so fun and the simplicity of the design really emphasized that.
It was so fun in fact that I decided to make her a couple of pennant banners to go along with it.
What have you been working on?
I am linking up with Sew Chatty for Made with Love Monday. If you did something crafty, you should too!
The theme that my sis in law is going with in the nursery is bright and fun. Birdcages and flowers. Just plain girly.
She wanted something simple in layout and the attention to be on the pretty fabrics that we decided on. So I did basic blocks with a solid border.
Since my husbands entire family is big on texture and comfort, there was no option but minky for the backing. Haha. I prefer minky on baby quilts anyhow so it worked out well.
I wanted to actually quilt the blanket (for long lasting purposes) but my SIL is not a fan of the quilted look, so we met in the middle and I just went with a stitching in the ditch.
I love the way it all came together. The fabrics are so fun and the simplicity of the design really emphasized that.
It was so fun in fact that I decided to make her a couple of pennant banners to go along with it.
What have you been working on?
I am linking up with Sew Chatty for Made with Love Monday. If you did something crafty, you should too!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Faking a Smile
On October 18th, I had my second miscarriage.
I didn't really tell anyone.
I have put on a fake smile and let everyone think that everything is okay, that nothing out of the ordinary is going on.
I was prepping for The Threadery. I was getting ready to see lots of people there. I didn't want the attention. I didn't want the hugs. And let's be honest, I didn't want to hear the things people say to comfort you but hurt you even more.
I kept myself distracted. I kept myself busy. I WAS okay, in a sense.
And then The Threadery was over. And I had time to hurt. And I hurt. I am broken.
My emotions are EVERYwhere. I am sad. I am confused. If I want to be really real; I feel guilty that I can't help thinking about my first miscarriage. The one that happened 5 years ago today. I feel guilty that as devastated and sad as I am now, it fails in comparison to the one I had then. Maybe because I was further along? Maybe because I was more bonded with the baby I had known for longer? I don't know.
Now I sit here aching. I am mourning the 5 year of the first baby that I lost and now I am mourning baby number 2. I am broken.
I wasn't going to share this at all. I didn't want to tell anyone really. A friend told me I should. Not because I am obligated to but because I need your prayers.
You have all been there for me. You prayed with me throughout my pregnancy with Talon and we saw miracles. You showed me more love and compassion after I shared about my first miscarriage than I could have even imagined.
I need you all again. I need to get through this time. I know I will. I have before. But I need to be okay for my kids. I need to not lock myself in my home for months at a time like I did before. I just need prayer.
God has been so faithful and I find comfort in Him. I find comfort in knowing that my babies are with Him.
I will be okay because I find refuge in God but can you all just pray for me and my family?
I didn't really tell anyone.
I have put on a fake smile and let everyone think that everything is okay, that nothing out of the ordinary is going on.
I was prepping for The Threadery. I was getting ready to see lots of people there. I didn't want the attention. I didn't want the hugs. And let's be honest, I didn't want to hear the things people say to comfort you but hurt you even more.
I kept myself distracted. I kept myself busy. I WAS okay, in a sense.
And then The Threadery was over. And I had time to hurt. And I hurt. I am broken.
My emotions are EVERYwhere. I am sad. I am confused. If I want to be really real; I feel guilty that I can't help thinking about my first miscarriage. The one that happened 5 years ago today. I feel guilty that as devastated and sad as I am now, it fails in comparison to the one I had then. Maybe because I was further along? Maybe because I was more bonded with the baby I had known for longer? I don't know.
Now I sit here aching. I am mourning the 5 year of the first baby that I lost and now I am mourning baby number 2. I am broken.
I wasn't going to share this at all. I didn't want to tell anyone really. A friend told me I should. Not because I am obligated to but because I need your prayers.
You have all been there for me. You prayed with me throughout my pregnancy with Talon and we saw miracles. You showed me more love and compassion after I shared about my first miscarriage than I could have even imagined.
I need you all again. I need to get through this time. I know I will. I have before. But I need to be okay for my kids. I need to not lock myself in my home for months at a time like I did before. I just need prayer.
God has been so faithful and I find comfort in Him. I find comfort in knowing that my babies are with Him.
I will be okay because I find refuge in God but can you all just pray for me and my family?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Baby Brynn's Quilt
Remember the baby shower I showed you last month? What I didn't show you was the gift I made for the baby. Because well...I wasn't finished with it yet. I gave it to the mommy to be yesterday after I had hubby snap a picture for you all to see it.
(Please ignore how wrinkly it is, I had it rolled up in a bag all morning before realizing I had no picture of it)
What do you think? I will be starting on a semi-matching one for the big sister to be this week and will share that one with you as soon as I am done.
I'm linking up with...
(Please ignore how wrinkly it is, I had it rolled up in a bag all morning before realizing I had no picture of it)What do you think? I will be starting on a semi-matching one for the big sister to be this week and will share that one with you as soon as I am done.
I'm linking up with...
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Our Adoption Plans
Since I was a little girl I knew I wanted a big family. I come from a big family. My dad has lots of siblings and so did his dad. In fact when my great grandma passed away her obituary said that she was survived by 317 grandchildren/great grandchildren. That was years ago and I believe the number has grown. Whatever the number may be, it is a blast having so many relatives. I want to continue that. Do I want 14 kids like my great grandma had? No. Well I don't think so. I do know that I want a lot of children.
Steven and I have always said that we would have what we could handle financially. I told a friend the other day that I thought this was God warming me up to His plan. I'll explain later.
As sure as I am that I want lots of kids, I am even more sure that I want to adopt. Again, the number I am not sure. (By I, keep in mind that I mean we, hubby is so on the same page) I am also not sure how we plan to adopt. International (the one thing hubby is not on board with), Local, Private, Open, Foster to Adopt...we just don't know. I love the idea of a baby from Africa or China but it is just not an option for us. For numerous reasons that I don't have time to get into. Remember I blog while my baby is on my lap or napping?
I have always had this dream of adopting a baby by standing outside of an abortion clinic and talking someone out of aborting the beautiful child they are carrying. Telling them that I will gladly adopt the precious life they hold. And although I still feel strongly about doing that or even just having you tell a friend who is desperate that I am here, I think God may have another plan.
You see the past few months the topic of Foster to Adopt has been brought up. Let me tell you how much I hate the idea of this. I just get these images of holding this amazing child that I have had for months and then having someone come in and rip them out of my hands to take back to the mom that abandoned them. Don't read to much into that, I don't think all moms that give their kids up are evil, only the one in my head taking my baby back. However, every time I hear or think about the option of Fostering to Adopt, I feel something pulling me. I don't want to say it is God because I am not positive and I don't want to put words into His mouth. But I think it might be.
At this time in our lives, we could not afford to have another child. We surely don't have enough for adoption. This is where the part about the thing I said before "God warming me up to it". Lately, whenever I say there is no way we could afford to adopt, I feel like God is saying "If you are willing to take a child, I am willing to provide" Not His exact words or even surely His words at all. You see a parent through Foster Care is given money to assist in raising the child. No, this is not the reason I would be doing it. I do not care about the money. It is only enough to help with the child. Key word being HELP. It does not cover everything but it would be enough to make another child affordable for us. Does that make sense? I don't want people to think I want a child for the money, so I really hope that is clear.
Does this make my fears go away? No! Not at all. I am terrified that if we go this route I may have a baby taken back, if not more than one. I am trying to wrap my mind around all of this. I feel overwhelmed. I am not saying that we are going to do this soon or at all for that matter. I want to confirm that this is really truly God speaking before we move forward but I want your input. Sooo...comment here or email me! Tell me your story or of someone you know. I want info and input on our plans.
Steven and I have always said that we would have what we could handle financially. I told a friend the other day that I thought this was God warming me up to His plan. I'll explain later.
As sure as I am that I want lots of kids, I am even more sure that I want to adopt. Again, the number I am not sure. (By I, keep in mind that I mean we, hubby is so on the same page) I am also not sure how we plan to adopt. International (the one thing hubby is not on board with), Local, Private, Open, Foster to Adopt...we just don't know. I love the idea of a baby from Africa or China but it is just not an option for us. For numerous reasons that I don't have time to get into. Remember I blog while my baby is on my lap or napping?
I have always had this dream of adopting a baby by standing outside of an abortion clinic and talking someone out of aborting the beautiful child they are carrying. Telling them that I will gladly adopt the precious life they hold. And although I still feel strongly about doing that or even just having you tell a friend who is desperate that I am here, I think God may have another plan.
You see the past few months the topic of Foster to Adopt has been brought up. Let me tell you how much I hate the idea of this. I just get these images of holding this amazing child that I have had for months and then having someone come in and rip them out of my hands to take back to the mom that abandoned them. Don't read to much into that, I don't think all moms that give their kids up are evil, only the one in my head taking my baby back. However, every time I hear or think about the option of Fostering to Adopt, I feel something pulling me. I don't want to say it is God because I am not positive and I don't want to put words into His mouth. But I think it might be.
At this time in our lives, we could not afford to have another child. We surely don't have enough for adoption. This is where the part about the thing I said before "God warming me up to it". Lately, whenever I say there is no way we could afford to adopt, I feel like God is saying "If you are willing to take a child, I am willing to provide" Not His exact words or even surely His words at all. You see a parent through Foster Care is given money to assist in raising the child. No, this is not the reason I would be doing it. I do not care about the money. It is only enough to help with the child. Key word being HELP. It does not cover everything but it would be enough to make another child affordable for us. Does that make sense? I don't want people to think I want a child for the money, so I really hope that is clear.
Does this make my fears go away? No! Not at all. I am terrified that if we go this route I may have a baby taken back, if not more than one. I am trying to wrap my mind around all of this. I feel overwhelmed. I am not saying that we are going to do this soon or at all for that matter. I want to confirm that this is really truly God speaking before we move forward but I want your input. Sooo...comment here or email me! Tell me your story or of someone you know. I want info and input on our plans.
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