Anyhow, Talon's party was this weekend. It was NOT handmade. Not even a little bit. I was teased about that statement because the food was homemade fun-ness and so were the cake pops. To me, not the same.
It was hard on me. It saddened me that I was not able to give my little guy what I usually do. I know this doesn't make sense to a lot of people. In fact, a few people were rather rude about the fact that I feel the need to go above and beyond for parties. I mean lately there are blogs after blogs talking about how moms just need to stop. Stop with all the extravagance. For some of us, that extravagance is just who we are. It's a way we show our love.
We all have different love languages. we show and recieve love differently. This doesn't only apply to marriages but all of our relationships. If someone shows love to their children by throwing crazy parties, doing elf on the shelf and a million other things, don't be so quick to put them down. <---- Not a diss to those bloggers, just defending my own heart here.
Wow, this post was not meant to go this direction at all. I guess I needed to vent a little more than I realized. All I wanted to say, is that for some moms, it breaks our hearts to not be able to go beyond on parties. It is part of who we are. And that is where I stood.
Friday, as we set up decorations, my 3 year old asked me over and over "mama, you made this?". He knows mommy usually does. It killed me to tell him "No honey, Wal-Mart did".
As Friday came to an end and the food prep began, his excitement rose watching his mommy make Mike Wasowski cake pops.
He was thrilled once again to see the Fushi (fake Sushi) bar come to life. At his young age, he understands that these things are an act of love from his mommy. Maybe that is how he feels loved too.
In the end, I knew that it was okay that I didn't spend the month after having a new baby making 35 scream canisters out of pringles cans. It was not the end of the world that I waited too long to buy pool noodles and couldn't make the garland I had planned. The Mike Wasowski lanterns did not hang from the ceiling and there was not a scrap of fabric anywhere to be found but I did what I could and he saw it.
Being a mom is hard. Finding balance is such a challenge. Not judging ourselves and feeling inadequate can weigh so heavy on our shoulders. We can't let it. Sometimes we need to just stop and allow ourselves to breathe. We need to rest knowing that the best we can do is enough. We are still good moms.
Whatever it is that you are questioning yourself for today, know that it is okay. You are still a good mom. It's okay not to be the best at this or that. It is okay to fall short of your own norm. It is okay to not have the big party...but because you decided not to, not because someone else told you that you shouldn't.
All this being said, I still feel a little bit bad about it all. If you need to find me, I'll be the one eating store bought cake in the corner. I kid. About the corner. I am so gonna eat the leftover cake!
I'll be posting the party later this week. When our sugar highs are gone.
